Copy of 6 Things You Can Consume More Frightening Than Any Horror Movie

Oh Halloween, the time when streets are filled with sugar-rushed kids while parents chase after them and when every other house resembles a nightclub. A time to usually curl up with a bag of candy you bought for $3 and a horror movie you can't even remember the title of - both of which you'll probably regret later. But hopefully not as much some of these decisions below.

1. Blood Clams Will Give You Hepatitis A And All Sorts Of Viral Goodies

While a great source of protein and selenium, blood clams are more known for their rich red interior that makes it appear like something Dracula would order. As something of a tasty appetizer in China, the clams are usually quickly cooked so they're still raw inside. And then the game of roulette with your stomach begins. The reason ingesting this shellfish is such a bold move is because 15% of people get Hepatitis A, Hepatitis E, typhoid, or dysentery from it. So take your pick from crapping blood and mucus from dysentery, joint pain and vomiting from either Hepatitis, or rashes complemented by internal bleeding from typhoid. But hey, part of the joy is rolling the dice and seeing if you're part of the lucky 85% that won’t have bloody diarrhea in your toilet.

Alas, we meet again, friend.

Due to the clams taking in quite a bit of bacteria if not boiled enough, those nice little treats will more than likely put you in the hospital. And if there's any sewage contamination, the risk increases to the point where you should ask for some cash before eating them. One Hepatitis A outbreak over blood clams was so immense that 310,000 people contracted it resulting in a tough ban on clams. But the craving for blood clams cannot suffice for many despite being completely banned in some places. However, if you think your luck has run out and you don't want to relive the scene from The Exorcist, it's best to boil these guys like your life depends on it.

2.) Crystalized Hot Sauce That Will Do More Than Burn Your Throat

Most are familiar with the humble jalapeño pepper or Siracha sauce to top things off with. You don't even need to be a spicy food connoisseur to know about the ghost chili pepper. But for some conquering the ghost chili was not enough. Soon hot sauces began pushing the limit adding such a high concentration of spiciness it practically oozed liquid ghost chili. Enter Blair Lazar, creator of the hottest sauce known to man that you have to sign a waiver for before you even buy it. Why? Because he doesn't want you pointing the finger at him when you add too much to your buffalo wings or meat chili to the point where the only person who could eat them would be Satan. The site where you can buy this Guinness Book of World Records holder's sauce even urges its consumer to use tweezers and put only one tiny crystal in whatever concoction you're making. Possibly also while wearing eye-wear or gloves.

See Exhibit A of what will happen to your bathroom.

Deep in the fires of New Jersey, Blair forged the hot sauces that were known throughout the land as being 8,000 times hotter than Tabasco. If you have heartburn already, know that there's only 1,000 bottles out there and with good reason. It's suspected that anyone with asthma would die from having one serving and people with no previous medical conditions are known to get blurry vision for roughly 30 minutes. So that’s half an hour discovering the knowledge of what it would be like having Han Solo’s vision after he’s been unfrozen. Going Breaking Bad, Blair went straight to a chemistry lab to make these capsaicin crystals, which is the chemical extracted from tons and tons of chilies that make it hot in the first place. 

Throughout months of toil and several tons of peppers, Blair's 16 million Reserve was created. Living up to its name, it is 16 million Scoville units, which means you need a lot of water to dissolve it. Roughly 250,000 gallons of water to be exact. But don’t worry, capsaicin is fat-soluble. So before you invest in enough water to fill a swimming pool, make sure to indulge in deep fried sticks of butter tied to a bacon-wrapped Nutella-coated ham roast before ingesting all that capsaicin for the healthy anti-inflammatory and antioxidant benefits! Nevertheless, if your tolerance for spice is only restaurant level, don't ever trust a chef with this sauce on their kitchen counter. And if they ask, "Do you like it hot?" Reply with, "I'll meet you on the couch, baby."

3.) Ackee Fruit Is Basically A Deadly Avocado

The beloved ackee fruit is a common indulgence in Jamaica that tells you sweet nothings of how it’s filled with niacin and vitamin C. But most search far and wide for it because it tastes like and resembles scrambled eggs while claiming to be a fruit. With the ackee, it's all about timing for absolute perfection unless if you want to end up in the ER. If you get it right, your efforts pay off with complete scrambled eggs decadence and bragging rights to wear a t-shirt with the slogan, "I ate the world's deadliest fruit."

And don’t forget to add a poisonous mushroom to the death omelet you’ll be making.

You always need to keep your wits about you when dealing with the ackee. If the ackee is too hard or too soft, things will go horribly awry. Excessive vomiting and fatal hypoglycemia will ensue from the poor timing of an ackee’s shelf life. For those unfamiliar with hypoglycemia symptoms, these for the ackee include seizures, blurred vision, dizziness, disorientation oh yeah, and, you know, your inevitable demise. So for your own sake, never eat the ackee when it's too ripe or not ripe enough unless you want your fruit scrambled eggs to scramble your bodily functions.

4.)Pure Powdered Caffeine Will Make Your Heart Beat Like A Hummingbird

So along with buying online anything from socks on discount to handmade soap three states away, there is pure powdered caffeine ready to be shipped after purchase. For anyone willing to try something stronger than espresso, just know that 1 teaspoon of this powder is equal to 28 cups of coffee according to the FDA. That means death instead of having a moment where you think you'll get superpowers.

It’s time to step away from the powder, sir.

The allure of a quick fix seems mighty tempting. We all want to feel like we have more time, because what is this sleep everyone keeps mentioning? And more research indicates that caffeine helps reduce inflammation and headaches. But the only result unless the dosage is in very tiny and precise measurements is caffeine toxicity. Caffeine toxicity includes symptoms such as seizures, vomiting, diarrhea, disorientation, and feeling like your heart is about to burst from your chest. So if some mysterious stranger offers you a drink with some new caffeine powder and a teaspoon is sticking out, lock eyes with them, then say, "I'll just stick to my tea." And sip it slowly.

5.) Rhubarb Is The Celery Stalk Of Doom

Rhubarb remains a staple of multiple uses from food, to medical salve, to packing a punch of vitamin K in each bite of strawberry-rhubarb pie. With its delicious tartness mixing into the pie, it lures you in with each bite. But there is a dark side to rhubarb. A side you should fear if you consume too much of it, or don’t prepare it in a way that will keep your bowels safe and sound. 

And this fruity temptress will haunt you until your dying days.

When more than the stalk is added, results can be unsavory with bone loss and uterine contractions to keep you busy. Rhubarb has a high concentration of oxalates in the leaves and the stalk to such a degree that anyone who has had a previous kidney stone should avoid rhubarb. So too much rhubarb means kidney stones will be visiting you the way tax season visits us all. And anyone who eats more rhubarb than watching their calcium intake can risk having calcium deficiency to boot. So put down that eighteenth slice of pie if you know what’s good for you.

6.) Fugu Is Still Really Dangerous Sashimi

Known as one of the most toxic fishes to eat, the fugu is not to be challenged as most of its organs contain tetrodotoxin which is 1,200 times deadlier than cyanide. Despite a need to have lean protein on the go 24/7 from the majestic fugu, eating more than a pinhead's worth of that toxin will make you go into a paralysis and die. But the fugu calls upon those in the fish market like a siren, with more than 10,000 tons of this fish sold each year. Chefs have gotten to the point of pricing it up since it takes extreme precision to prepare. For some decent fugu that won't have the waiter pass a note with the scrawled message, "You have 24 hours to live," you need to pay $200 for your meal.

Or you have a limited amount of time before you swim with the fishes.

Chefs have to undergo at least 2 years of training to handle fugu for the public masses. That means if you see someone preparing fugu where there's a bunch of other street food being prepared, this person wields the power over your stomach. As do all the other street food vendors. If you decide to venture with this dish, be warned that this cute little fish does not have cute little toxins. But if you do make it, you can silently get out of your seat and look into the sunset with tears forming in your eyes, then whisper, "I survived."